24. ‘We Don’t Want To Move With The World’

[00:00:06] Speaker A: Hi, my name is Katie Malone. [00:00:07] Speaker B: And I'm Brendan, the husband. [00:00:09] Speaker A: And you're listening to the Little Flock, the podcast that offers practical insights about living a counterculture of goodness, truth and beauty in a world of increasingly hostile secularism and indifference. [00:00:19] Speaker B: So if you're looking to learn from two imperfect followers of Christ about how to live like the wheat amongst the Darnell, this is definitely the podcast for you. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Little Flock. My name is Brendan Malone and I don't have the beautiful Katie with me today. So my wife is absent. And in her place, I have three beautiful, talented, amazing young women. And no, they did not pay me copious amounts of money to say such things about them. But we have our three eldest daughters in the studio today for a very special end of year Christmas edition of the Little Flock podcast. Ladies, would you quickly like to go around and introduce yourself, starting with Lulu? [00:01:12] Speaker C: Yep. I'm Lucy. I'm 17 and I didn't know this was happening until yesterday. [00:01:20] Speaker B: Perfect. [00:01:22] Speaker D: I'm Maddie. I'm 15 and I knew this was happening today. [00:01:30] Speaker B: Awesome. [00:01:32] Speaker A: I'm evie. I'm also 15 and I wanted this to happen today. [00:01:42] Speaker B: Before we go any further, folks, in this amazing, awesome conversation that we're about to have, don't forget, if you are new here, please subscribe, share the podcast with your friends if you're enjoying the content and give us a rating if you can, whatever platform you're listening on. If you want to support our work, you can do that at patreon.com forward/Left Foot media. The link is in today's show notes. And if you become a five dollar monthly patron, then you will get access to our exclusive daily patrons only episode of the Dispatchers podcast. That's me giving commentary on current affairs and social issues. Or you can go to lifenet.org nz and you can become a donor. And if you're in New Zealand and you become a regular AP donor, then you will get a special tax receipt at the end of each year and you can claim back your donations on your tax. Don't forget, we like to answer your questions. And so for future episodes, if you want to submit a question about life, marriage, family, relationships, all the rest of it, go to The Little Flock podcast.org or lifenet.org NZ and you will see at the top of either of those pages, there is a link that you can click on to submit your questions totally anonymously. By the way, too. Alrighty, ladies, let's get into it, shall we? Don't forget to talk in big, loud voices. Apart from you, Lucy, because you already naturally are doing that. The other two just rolled their eyes at me. Why have I convened this special meeting of the council of Women that I have here today? Well, I thought it would be a great way to end the podcast by just having a dialogue and a conversation with some hip, young, cool youths. So welcome. [00:03:22] Speaker D: Never call me hip and young ever again. [00:03:27] Speaker B: I promise I will now do that every single day. Okay, so first question that I want to put to you is this, and I think this is obviously quite an important one, is what do you think are the biggest challenges of being a teenager today? Maybe, Lucy, we'll start with you. [00:03:45] Speaker C: Sure. I think. Oh, probably the most obvious one is social media and the Internet. And I think children being raised with these devices just from birth at their fingertips is just dumbing us down. As generations go on with AI especially, just the answers are constantly there. You can ask whatever you want, get the answer straight away. And it's just, yeah, we don't have those social or academic skills as much. [00:04:16] Speaker B: Anymore, so, like, the imposition of technology now the way. [00:04:21] Speaker C: Yeah, we just. And it's stopping young people, I think, from thinking more deeply and thinking those, you know, deeper questions about themselves and about life. Because you can just ask the Internet, and the Internet will tell you, or you can go to social media and your favorite influencer will already have an opinion, and you can just pick it up. [00:04:39] Speaker B: What about you two? Do you think, is it the same for you or is it different? [00:04:42] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:43] Speaker A: Along with the thought of opinion. Nobody really has their own opinion anymore, and nobody really understands what's right, what's wrong, what's the truth. And it's all about, oh, that's my truth. Yeah, you can have your own truth. But we're not called, as young people especially to accept the wrong truth. We're called to preach the right truth. [00:05:05] Speaker B: Yeah. And live by truth. Right. If you don't live by truth, then you're in real trouble. So moral relativism is a bit of a concern. And the way in which people are. Do you think people are, like, cowardly? They're like, oh, I don't. I better not have an opinion on a lot of issues because I might have the wrong opinion? [00:05:19] Speaker A: Well, they have an opinion. They just don't want to speak up about it because they're scared that they'll offend somebody else's opinion and then there'll be a big fight. And. And that's a problem because people aren't ready to have Social, civil arguments about controversial issues and get into the right topic because they're too scared that somebody will get offended. [00:05:37] Speaker B: Okay, what about you, Meds? [00:05:39] Speaker D: I think, like Lucy said with the influencers, they pick up their own opinion based on what influencers say. But also the problem with dating at 13, 14, or 15, or even Lucy's age, 17, people who date just to date, and then they pick up their partner's opinions and they don't have their own opinions as their themselves. Like, if they had opinions before, they don't have them anymore. And so they just decide, well, I like this person, so I'll believe anything they say. [00:06:17] Speaker B: So basically when they get into the relationship, they just become something that they're not. [00:06:22] Speaker D: Yeah, because as teenagers, we're still trying to figure out who we are as people. And so when we're in a relationship with someone else, we can't be ourselves in that relationship because we haven't figured out who we are yet. [00:06:35] Speaker B: Yep. [00:06:36] Speaker D: You know, that's. [00:06:37] Speaker B: Well, that's fascinating. Lucy, do you worry about, like, with technology, what is it a daily concern? [00:06:46] Speaker C: I think so, because you, when you go on your phone, you open social media, you're just bombarded with all of this information. And I think young minds particularly just soak it all up and they don't even realize. And you're just keeping it all at the back of your brain, and then all of a sudden you're talking about this topic or this or like a controversial thing, like Maddie said, and you're spouting all this stuff you didn't even know you picked up from social media, and you don't even know if it's the truth. No one really does. You just heard it somewhere, and that's what everyone says, so it must be right. And I think it just, it does do something to that subconscious mind where you just take in the information, assume it's truth, and just go with it. And then that becomes an opinion you might hold forever. [00:07:32] Speaker B: What do you like, do you personally have techniques or tricks that you use to sort of try and help yourself navigate that? Like, what do you. Do you think about, like, how do I combat this? Then if this is a problem, like, how do I deal with it? [00:07:48] Speaker C: I think, I think everyone can fall into the trap of just picking up that information and taking it as truth when it's everywhere. But you just have to be more careful about, like, looking into big topics, especially if it's something really important in life. Go to other people. Go to real people. Yeah, like, go ask your parents. What they think. Go ask your teachers what they think. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:15] Speaker C: You know, get off your phone a little bit. Or if you are, look it up, go on the Internet, look up different opinions, different sites. [00:08:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:23] Speaker C: You know, don't just take it. Take it on the head straight away. [00:08:27] Speaker B: You. You guys are quite avid readers too, eh? That. That must help, do you reckon? [00:08:31] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:08:32] Speaker A: What I found is that a lot of my friends, they do the thing where they appeal to authority. Like when we have civil arguments in my friend group will be talking about something completely off, and then they'll be like, oh, but Taylor Swift said this, so it must be true. [00:08:49] Speaker B: The great and powerful Swift has spoken. It must be true. Interesting. So you get a lot of that appeal to authority. For our listeners who don't know, that's a logical fallacy where you just say, well, it's true because someone important says it's true instead of actually discerning properly whether it is true. But. So that's a big issue, right? [00:09:06] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:06] Speaker A: It doesn't have to be someone important either. It can just be someone that's nobody knows is on the Internet, but has 3.5 million followers. [00:09:13] Speaker B: Ah, yeah. Okay. So Dr. Random has said something. And just because Dr. Random says it, everyone has to believe it. [00:09:20] Speaker C: I think a lot of people also don't realize that these people, they're. The information they're consuming on social media, these people are being paid to say it with sponsorships and brand deals and stuff. Half the time they don't even believe it themselves. Or if they're trying to sell products, they're getting paid to use that product and say, this is the best thing I've ever had. And then they'll throw it out straight away after they've made the video, the TikTok or whatever. It's not the truth at all. [00:09:48] Speaker A: And a lot of times they can contradict themselves. Like, they'll make one video acclaiming one product for not using animal testing. Then they'll make another video using a product that uses animal testing. [00:10:00] Speaker D: Oh, my gosh, they'll just contradict themselves. [00:10:02] Speaker B: Do you, Maddie, do you find. Is there a certain madness in trying to navigate this? Like, how do you. What does it make your day, like, your world, like, as a young person? [00:10:12] Speaker D: Well, because, like, I have friends who will tell me, I saw this online, I'm gonna go do it. Like, I had a friend who told me she was looking for a job, and she told me that she saw this thing online that told her, you can make money basically just sitting at home on your phone. And she went into it, and it was like a $14 fee a month just to do it, and you don't get any money from it at all. So it was a classic upsell towards her. [00:10:39] Speaker B: Yeah, like a scam. [00:10:41] Speaker D: Yeah. And she was really annoyed about it because she was like. But it was one of my favorite influences, one of the people I've followed for ages who told me to, like, go do this. And it's like Lucy said, someone who they know is giving them an upsell or a scam, and then it doesn't work anyways. They're being paid to be like, wow, it's amazing. [00:11:03] Speaker B: What was she like when she realized one of her favorite influences had tried to effectively push a scam on her? [00:11:09] Speaker D: Well, she seemed like it was like the queen had died or something. Like, it was like, oh, my gosh. [00:11:16] Speaker B: How could you? [00:11:17] Speaker D: How. Yeah, how could you? How dare you? Yeah, this was. I trusted you so much. They act like they're their best friends up until the point where they realize they're just being paid to say something. [00:11:27] Speaker A: Yeah. And at first, she didn't realize it was a scam. Like, she just thought, oh, she's just telling me that this is a good job because she wants to support her followers, learning business or whatever. And she didn't realize it was a scam in the first place. She barely realized it was a scam afterwards until we actually told her. You're getting scammed. [00:11:45] Speaker B: Have you ever talked to friends about it, Lulu? Like, have you had conversations where you're like, oh, no, that's not legit, or you shouldn't listen to that so much. And how does that go a little bit? [00:11:55] Speaker C: I mean, we've had sort of joking conversations about we're just giving up on things and just going and becoming influencers and getting paid to travel around the world and just lie to everyone and get all this money from it? But, yeah, in a joking way, like, satirical. Like, that's. It's not a true career path any of us would actually want to follow. Because it seems. When you talk about it, it seems so ridiculous. Like, of an. An idea that you could just travel around, you could get these sponsorships, and all you have to do is just lie to all these people and say all this stuff is amazing, and. But it happens, and it's constantly happening. [00:12:37] Speaker B: Why do you think that, you guys. Because talking to you, you do seem to be a bit more aware than a lot of young people today, I think, but you seem to be a bit more aware that this. There's a Wizard of Oz type thing going on here. The great and powerful Oz is actually a little man behind a curtain. It's not quite all as it seems. Why? What do you put that down to? The fact that you seem to be a bit more discerning about it. [00:13:00] Speaker D: It's because we talk to you guys a lot, you and Mum. [00:13:03] Speaker B: I will take quite a lot. And by the way, face, I did not pay them to say this. [00:13:08] Speaker D: Yeah. We will go to you about all this stuff. We'll be like, not even. Oh, is this true? We'll just be like, I saw this today. It sounded dumb. Is it? [00:13:15] Speaker A: Right. [00:13:16] Speaker D: And even then, like, I feel like since I've read a lot and I talk to you a lot, and I talk to Mum a lot about all this stuff, and even just. I talk to Evie a lot about all this stuff, it kind of. My brain kind of sees something. And even if it's, yeah, something that sounds quite true, my brain will kind of sort it into a category that's like, does that sound maybe not so legit? Would dad say that was right? [00:13:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:44] Speaker D: So community helps, especially when you hear the AI voice telling you to go buy something. [00:13:49] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. I'm so. [00:13:50] Speaker A: I feel like one of the main things in my life is that when I started on the Internet, I was like, I was not the smartest person to be on the Internet at the time. And I thought everything I saw wasn't just a play to get money for me and all this stuff. [00:14:04] Speaker B: So you thought it was real? [00:14:05] Speaker A: I thought it was real at first because I hadn't been, you know, I hadn't seen the Internet yet. I hadn't been on it like other people had yet. And as I grew older, I realized that one of the most important things was the truth. Not, this is this influencer's truth, but then this other influencer has another opinion and that's his truth. And so both of them are the truth, but both of them contradict each other. But it's like, no, there's one truth and it is the truth. God's truth. And you can't really contradict that because if you have one person's truth on the Internet, you have another person's truth on the Internet. Yeah, they were just going to contradict each other and they can't both be true. [00:14:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:44] Speaker A: One of them has to be a lie. Right. [00:14:49] Speaker B: What do you think parents can do to support young people? Like, just in general? And I mean, like, you've talked here a bit about technology, so you might Want to talk about technology? I suppose, but just in general. If someone said, I'm a parent, help me, help me, wise young people to know what I can do to support my teenage sons and daughters better, what would you say to those people? [00:15:13] Speaker C: I think parents just be present a bit more. Like a little bit on the technology. Like, look up a little bit from your phones, talk to us, but not too much because then it's annoying. [00:15:27] Speaker B: What's the level? What's the too much? [00:15:30] Speaker C: A couple of questions, like, per day. [00:15:33] Speaker A: Don't yak at us. [00:15:34] Speaker C: Are you asking for a friend? [00:15:35] Speaker B: Get out of my face, man. I want to know. I'm asking for a friend. I'm just going to. [00:15:40] Speaker C: Well, I just think a lot of the issues they do come from children sort of feeling a bit lonely and then they turn to that, the technology or they turn to the, you know, the secular world and they look for. Look for that presence that they don't get from their parents or from family. And it just drives them sort of more into that cycle of being more alone. Because all the world wants is to take and take and take. And they want this from you and they want that from you. When what you really need is people that are going to give back to you and help you give back to others, which is where parents should be coming in and teaching those values. [00:16:18] Speaker B: So we need to be present. [00:16:20] Speaker C: Yeah, just be there, but don't be nerdy about it. [00:16:25] Speaker B: So how's it going then? Here's another question for you. What was the walk home like? [00:16:31] Speaker D: What was your name again? [00:16:34] Speaker B: You come here, you child number. I can't even remember your number. [00:16:39] Speaker A: Yeah, but I feel like especially one of the problems I see is that there's not enough restriction on phones. [00:16:46] Speaker B: Like, so you're thinking technology here. [00:16:49] Speaker A: Yeah, there may be small restrictions, but there's not huge ones. There's just little borders that are easy to break through, easy to find a way around. And, um, also in our family we have the rule phoned out by 9pm and that helps because if you're downstairs after 9pm there's more conversation or maybe like watching TV communally. Even if it's just TV, it's still you're doing it together. You're enjoying something together. You're not doing it. You're not sitting in your own room on your phone getting into a spiral and never going to sleep because you're busy on. [00:17:29] Speaker B: So having some rules for technology is good for parents. What would you say, Maddie, to a parent who said, oh, I don't Know how do I support my, my daughter or my son? [00:17:36] Speaker D: I think it's like what Lucy said with being together. Like in our family, Sunday is family day. Like that's the day we go to mass. Even if we went on a Saturday, we'll still have a family day. You know, it's the day when we have some kind of meal together and we talk and we actually like, even if it's just one day of just talking together as a family. But also I think as well, parents don't try to be us. Don't try to say all the slang that we say and don't try and. [00:18:12] Speaker B: So no skippities and bossing and don't. [00:18:15] Speaker D: Try and be us. But also like, because when you're trying to. You make yourself sound more uncool by like, you aren't trying to be our best friend, you're trying to be our parent. [00:18:27] Speaker B: I am. [00:18:27] Speaker D: There's a difference between. [00:18:28] Speaker B: I am a professional uncool. So it's, you know, I'm pretty good at that. Yeah. Okay. So don't try and be hip and. [00:18:38] Speaker D: Don'T try and be your kids best friend. [00:18:40] Speaker A: You had your time. [00:18:40] Speaker D: You're not your kid's best friend. [00:18:42] Speaker B: That's had an ominous. Evie. You've had your time, old man. [00:18:47] Speaker D: It's like Lord of the Rings. [00:18:48] Speaker C: Evie. [00:18:49] Speaker B: Oh, man. How bad is phone addiction today, Louisiana? [00:18:53] Speaker C: Well, like I said, it's pretty. I think it's so normalized now that it's not recognized as addiction anymore. [00:19:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:01] Speaker C: Because it's just normal to have a device sort of constantly attached to you or on your person. And it's. Yeah, it's so normalized in society. You can't live without it, unfortunately. You need technology. Like it's where everything happens, you know, it's where your pay slips come through for work. It's where you send emails. It's where you do all these things. You look up bus schedules and routes and you just need it. Like there's no way to escape from it anymore. [00:19:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:30] Speaker C: And I think in that way it's just ingrained in life and so it's just, it's just normal. [00:19:35] Speaker B: So you think that there is a level of addiction that we don't recognize anymore as addiction and that maybe like the serious end we still see, but we're missing a whole lot that maybe what 20 years ago would have gone, wow, that person's really phone addicted. But now it's like that's just normal. [00:19:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:52] Speaker D: I think also the problem was when national. [00:19:55] Speaker B: The national government. [00:19:57] Speaker D: Yeah. The Government made the law that we were not allowed cellphones. There was like what, how long of a notice before it was actually law? It was a good five to six weeks of notice that we weren't allowed cell phones in school for this amount of time. And I feel like people were panicking, people were acting like it was the end of the world. [00:20:22] Speaker B: So already their addiction was showing before. [00:20:24] Speaker D: Already people were like, oh my gosh, how am I going to do this? How am I going to live without it? And we'd been told you can have it at school if you need to contact your parents, you just cannot use it or it cannot be seen during school time on school grounds. [00:20:37] Speaker B: So that's pretty bad sign then. [00:20:38] Speaker D: And yeah, and even when we went to year 10 camp, we were told per school rules, you are not allowed your phone on camp. And I would hear do it throughout the class, little conversations, how am I gonna live without it? What am I gonna do? And we were allowed them to contact our parents but they were not allowed to be seen playing games or doing anything silly. [00:21:00] Speaker B: So that was last week, right? How was it last week? [00:21:02] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, it was last week. [00:21:03] Speaker B: So what was? I'm father of the year here. I just totally remember what's going on in my kids lives. But that camp was mum and I actually said partway through it was actually quite refreshing and really unusual that we didn't hear anything like you were just gone for several days on school camp. And we were like, they'll call if it's an emergency, like the teachers. Otherwise that's how it used to be. But that's quite unusual now because most even in like the primary school that your younger brother and sister are at, they every five minutes there's an update when they go into school camp and stuff like that. So it was kind of unusual that you guys just went and did that. It was actually quite cool. [00:21:42] Speaker D: We had enough teachers and we had enough people knowing what to do. All the teachers had phones, all the teachers had the ability to contact our parents. So we really didn't need any phones or devices whatsoever. People still brought them even though they weren't allowed them. But it just shows. [00:21:57] Speaker B: Yeah, it must have sucked TV being out in the wilderness there with no phone and enjoying all that outdoor. [00:22:03] Speaker A: Yeah, it was like the 80s. [00:22:05] Speaker D: It's like your childhood did so long ago. [00:22:08] Speaker A: My childhood was killed phone addiction. [00:22:10] Speaker D: It's so different now because when I. [00:22:12] Speaker A: Was younger it wasn't so much phone addiction as it was just general screen addiction. Because I remember going to school as A year five student and everybody being like, oh my gosh, have you seen the new episode of so and so or this show or whatever? And then I would just be like, I'm not allowed screens until Friday. And they'd be like, how do you survive? [00:22:31] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. So people constantly watching content. [00:22:33] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And then the funny thing was, as I got older, I realized that, like, when I watch movies with my friends or something, immediately they will do this thing where they like get their phones out and they're like, I need to post that. I've seen this episode now. [00:22:46] Speaker D: Not even just posting. They like just go on their phone, they're like, oh, can we watch this movie? I can't wait to watch this movie. It's gonna be so fun. Mid movie. Yeah, I'm bored. I'm gonna go on my phone now. [00:22:58] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, that's. Yeah, that's a real issue, isn't it? Overwhelm and doom scrolling. [00:23:03] Speaker A: It's there. It's just there for them to do it. [00:23:05] Speaker D: Double screening. They're just like, this movie is really boring. Hey, I forgot I have my phone. Yeah, I haven't seen anything. [00:23:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Whereas back in my day you'd have to just put up with a boring movie or turn it off and watch. [00:23:17] Speaker D: Something else or go play outside. [00:23:19] Speaker B: Lucy, do you like. Obviously you have, excuse me, music interests and stuff that you share with your friends and, you know, you go to concerts and you have artists that you listen to and you would all know. Right. But what about. Do you have TV shows and things like that? Or is that now things are so personalised that that's not as much of a shared experience as it used to be? [00:23:42] Speaker C: Well, yeah, we don't really. We don't watch stuff together. Everyone sort of just. Yeah, we'll watch their own thing and sometimes we'll talk about it. But I think also with streaming services and things, just everything is available to you. [00:23:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:58] Speaker C: So you could. Like, I'm constantly doing that. Like if the first episode of a show isn't immediately interesting to me, I'll just turn it off in the first episode. [00:24:06] Speaker B: I'm out. [00:24:07] Speaker C: I'm like, no, I'm not committing to this. I'm bored. Whatever. [00:24:10] Speaker B: Have you ever gone back and rediscovered something that you outed and then you were like, oh, actually, I'm going back in again. [00:24:15] Speaker C: No. Oh, not that I can remember. Yeah. If it doesn't. Yeah. If it doesn't catch my interest and hold it, then I just. [00:24:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:22] Speaker C: Give up. [00:24:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Why waste your time? [00:24:24] Speaker C: Unless people on the Internet are saying it's really good and you have to get into it. [00:24:27] Speaker B: Then sometimes I'll be like, okay, what's your standard? What's the measure, like, for whether you're in or out? Is it, like, you've got 10 minutes to, like, wow me with an explosion? Or what is it you're looking for? [00:24:40] Speaker C: Yeah, I think. Yeah. It just has to hold my interest. [00:24:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. [00:24:46] Speaker D: If a show is all dialogue about someone's personal life, nothing interesting is happening. Kind of just like, I don't care about your personal life, someone blows something up. [00:24:56] Speaker B: Speaking of speaking of personal lives and blowing things up, what does having faith mean to you? We'll start with you, Ivy. [00:25:08] Speaker A: It means that you have the ability to stand up for what you believe in, that you have the ability to get a piece of paper and write down all the things you believe in and know and trust that you believe in these things. [00:25:22] Speaker B: Okay. [00:25:23] Speaker A: It basically means that if I wrote down I believe that a sea turtle can breathe in water, then I firmly believe that. [00:25:32] Speaker B: So obviously, that's not your faith. Don't worship sea turtles or anything, just in case anybody's wondering. But, yeah. So there's a certain faith is certainty to you, isn't. Yeah. What about you, Maddie? What does faith mean to you? [00:25:43] Speaker D: I think especially today when all the people are, like, around me are like, oh, my gosh, this thing's happening. Oh, my gosh, this thing's gone wrong. Or, oh, my gosh, my favorite influencer is lying to me. [00:25:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:57] Speaker D: Or something, though. Everyone's panicking about something, and I feel like I've learned to just take a deep breath and just go. It doesn't matter because, you know, there's still a God in heaven and there's still an earth here, and you're still alive. So that's what faith is. It's just having that. It's literally like the saying, taking a leap of faith is taking a leap and knowing that God will sort it out if it goes wrong. [00:26:25] Speaker B: Have you had to take a few leaps? [00:26:27] Speaker D: Oh, yes. A lot of times. Yeah. Heaps of times. It's scary, especially when there's people around you who don't have that faith. [00:26:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:35] Speaker D: And don't know God the way you do. [00:26:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:38] Speaker D: And so one of those leaps of faith is when someone asks you a question, especially at going to a Protestant school, someone asks you a question about Catholicism, and you kind of just have. [00:26:47] Speaker A: To go. [00:26:50] Speaker D: Okay, God, please help. [00:26:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:52] Speaker D: Even if I don't know this, please help me, because this Person, like, especially if they look genuinely interested, you're like, this person actually wants to know something. [00:26:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Cool. [00:26:59] Speaker D: So you kind of just have to take a leap of faith. [00:27:03] Speaker B: What about you, Lily? [00:27:05] Speaker C: I think it's just trust for me. Like trusting in the Lord, not giving up on him, you know, just trusting that he has a plan and if it says, well, it's going to work out and there's not much you can do. So for me, I really struggle with some of that. Having faith, giving up control, because I really struggle. [00:27:27] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, you're too organized. [00:27:28] Speaker C: Yeah. I have to have control. [00:27:30] Speaker B: You're Malone. [00:27:31] Speaker C: And. Yeah. I've just had to learn that even if it seems hopeless and there's nothing I can do, that there's something bigger going on. And in those moments where it does seem a little bit hopeless, that's often when God is closest to me. That's what I find personally. So just trust. Yeah. And. Yeah. Steadfastness. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Do you. Do you remember that moment years ago or some years ago when you came to me and you said, oh, I don't know if I believe what you believe, dad. Do you remember that? [00:27:59] Speaker C: A little bit. [00:28:00] Speaker B: Yeah. We had that conversation one day and it's quite beautiful to see how that your faith is and all of you, actually, your individual Christian faith has really developed and. Yeah, it's quite a beautiful thing. Quite a beautiful thing for an old man. Sentimental old man like me. What. What can. Speaking of sentimental old men like me, what do you think parents can do then maybe we'll go the other order, reverse order again. What do you think parents can do to help support the faith journey of their children? [00:28:32] Speaker C: They just. You just have to be strong, have strong faith and show that. Like what Evie said, if we come to you with questions about faith, we want you to be able to, like, answer confidently. [00:28:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:45] Speaker C: And to know that you believe this. [00:28:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:49] Speaker C: Fully. And you have this confidence in your answer so that we can, you know, go off and form our own, you know, find our own opinions and stuff. But we just want you to have that strong example of faith and help us to grow in our faith when we need it. [00:29:04] Speaker B: Yeah. What does that mean? Practically help us to grow in our faith when we need it. [00:29:07] Speaker C: Just showing it around the home, saying prayers as a family, saying grace as a family before meals. [00:29:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:15] Speaker C: You know, like unboxing the Advent calendar together every night and looking at the little reflections. [00:29:22] Speaker D: Who's going to blow out the big candle? Yeah, I want to. I want to. [00:29:26] Speaker C: All the little things that just add up I think to that bigger faith as like a familial. [00:29:33] Speaker B: Okay. So you're looking for answers, though, if what happens? What would have happened if you'd come and asked about anything? It could have been anything. And we'd gone, oh, we don't really know. Who knows? Or, you know, it was sort of very Trust. Yeah. So if we were just sort of very uncertain ourselves. [00:29:50] Speaker C: Well, you probably just go to the Internet and end up down a very. [00:29:53] Speaker A: Interesting, very big rabbit hole. Yeah. [00:29:56] Speaker D: And I feel like that's the thing you see in a lot of children in our generation who don't talk to their parents. You see it very clearly that, oh, yeah, you don't talk to your parents about this stuff or you've gone to talk to your parents and they don't know the answer. [00:30:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:12] Speaker D: So that, like Lucy said, we want you to be certain because then we can go and find our own opinions and. [00:30:20] Speaker B: But you looking for clarity of some kind? [00:30:22] Speaker D: Yeah, we're looking for that clarity. But if we go to you and you guys are like, oh, we don't really know. So then we go to the Internet for clarity and we go to our friends, and our friends are also the same age as us, so not many of them are going to know the answer to something we don't know. And so you notice it a lot in people who don't talk to their parents. They are uncertain about their opinions. Whereas when our parents are very confident in their answers and they know what they're talking about and they have had enough experience with this thing or they. [00:30:55] Speaker A: Remember what it was like to be. [00:30:56] Speaker D: A teenager, then, you know, we're a bit more confident when we go out to find out what. [00:31:02] Speaker B: Yeah, awesome. [00:31:03] Speaker D: What's clear in our lives. [00:31:05] Speaker A: Yeah. I feel like one of the many things in my life is that whether I see someone talking on the Internet about a very controversial issue or even just one of my teachers talking about it, I'll be like, what do mom and dad think? [00:31:18] Speaker B: Interesting. [00:31:18] Speaker A: So it's like. [00:31:19] Speaker B: So that's your first thought, is it? [00:31:20] Speaker A: That's my first thought. It's like, do Mum and Dad agree with this? Would they agree with this kind of thing? It's because, like, if you, like Lucy and Mehdi were saying, if you were both like, oh, we don't really know about that, then where else am I supposed to go? Yeah, because if I trust you to answer my questions about faith, then I want, like, a firm answer. And if I don't get a firm answer, I don't know where else to go. [00:31:49] Speaker B: So. So parents, I guess then they need to make sure that they are nurturing their own faith themselves, otherwise they're not going to have any answers. Right? [00:31:58] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:31:58] Speaker D: And even then, like, I remember one time I watched a video about, like, our baptism at infancy is bad, and I remember sending it to you. [00:32:09] Speaker B: So that's the difference between Christian denomination. So some of our listeners on the show are Catholic, some are Protestant. And so, you know, in our Catholic tradition, as with some Protestant traditions as well, there's infant baptism. Right. And. But where you were exposed to this thing where they were saying, no, it's bad and wrong and evil. Right. [00:32:28] Speaker D: Yeah. And I remember sending it to you, dad, and you said, you didn't send me a whole paragraph about your answer. You actually sent me stuff you had seen, like, from Father Mike Smith. Is that his name? [00:32:42] Speaker B: Yeah, Yeah. I sent you some good, solid content to look at. [00:32:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:47] Speaker B: And watch yourself. [00:32:48] Speaker D: And I actually kind of looked through. I remember reading the. One of the things you sent me and going, this sounds like something dad would say. [00:32:54] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. That's what I do as well. [00:32:56] Speaker B: So we didn't. In that case, I didn't necessarily have to give you the complete answer, but I had to know where to send you to go and do your own. [00:33:04] Speaker A: Exactly. To get the right answers. [00:33:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:06] Speaker A: Because, like, I listened a few months ago to Father Mike Smith's Catholic podcast, and I was listening to it, and I was like, this guy's good because he sounds like he would be friends with my dad, so I know he has good answers. [00:33:22] Speaker B: That is so funny. What do young people want from the church? [00:33:28] Speaker C: Tradition and beauty. It's pretty simple. We don't want to walk into a church. [00:33:33] Speaker A: It's shaped like a leaf. [00:33:34] Speaker C: Especially a Catholic church that's just all this full of, like, New Age crap or anything like that. We don't want that. [00:33:41] Speaker B: Tell us what you really know, where. [00:33:42] Speaker C: The myth comes from that we want that. We want to dance around holding hands in a circle or something in the middle of church. We don't. We want to go into a church that's beautiful because it is a place that's supposed to be separate from the rest of the world. [00:33:59] Speaker B: Sacred. [00:34:00] Speaker C: Sacred. And, yeah, it's a. It's separated by that tradition and by that beauty. While we don't want to move with the world, you know, we want to. We have these sacred traditions, and we want the church to uphold them for us, especially going forward. [00:34:16] Speaker A: Yeah. As the next generation, we're going to teach our children these things. And we don't want to be teaching our children. Oh, yes, let's have a church shaped like a leaf, because that'll help. It won't. [00:34:26] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's got to be. [00:34:28] Speaker A: I feel like it's actually got to be a place where you can see the transubstantiation happen. It's got to be a place sacred. Sacred where you can watch Jesus become real. [00:34:38] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:34:38] Speaker D: And I feel like, as well. And not just what we see in the church, what we want from the church is that same certainty that we want from our parents. [00:34:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:49] Speaker D: Is just like one of. I remember our parish priest, Father do, when he gave a homily about how the church. The Mass is not for entertainment. [00:35:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:02] Speaker D: And like Lucy said, the church is supposed to be separate and sacred from the rest of the world. So we want that beauty not just in what we see, but in what we gather from that Mass, especially from what the priests tell us and from what we see in things like adoration and things like the transubstantiation. We want that beauty. And so I feel like one of the ways we get it is by the beauty surrounding us. [00:35:29] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. So. So the actual outward beauty points to some inner reality that's very real. [00:35:34] Speaker D: It's sacraments. [00:35:35] Speaker B: It's like. [00:35:35] Speaker A: Like what? [00:35:36] Speaker B: Is it the outward sign of an invisible reality? [00:35:39] Speaker C: Yeah, it's like that. [00:35:40] Speaker D: It's like the outward sign is what we see, and it's like, this is Jesus's house. [00:35:46] Speaker B: Do you think this is common to young people, though, in the church that. [00:35:51] Speaker C: Well, certainly all the young Catholics and Christians that I've talked to, we just. I don't know where the myths have come from that we want this. Like, we're just for, you know, praise and worship obsessed lunatics who want to, you know, bring the church into the 21st century or whatever. Because that's not true in most cases. We don't. We want to go back to some of those old traditions and some of. Unlike the old practices. And we want to have a place where we can be grounded in our faith, where the church and the people in the church around us are also grounded in their faith. And we can grow and learn, like, about our beliefs and why we believe them. [00:36:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:35] Speaker C: And rather than just, you know, go sing some songs, go home, say, oh, I'm a Christian or I'm a Catholic, and then. But not really know what that means. [00:36:46] Speaker B: So you're looking for real meat. [00:36:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:48] Speaker B: On the bones of your faith. Yes. [00:36:50] Speaker D: I feel like it's what we're really looking for is, like, Lucy keeps saying, the certainty that, like, the being grounded. [00:36:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:58] Speaker D: And we like to see people around us are, like, firm in their faith. And when we see people going, oh, but what about what everyone else is doing? We're kind of like, oh, but what. What could we do to make this better? And you see a lot of young people looking at those beautiful churches in Italy and France and being like, whoa. [00:37:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:18] Speaker D: And then that's kind of like what we want, you know, like, even the smallest of churches can have, like, the most beautiful things. Yeah. [00:37:27] Speaker A: And what's so beautiful about it is that as young people, we want that faith. And if we want it, we'll get it. [00:37:36] Speaker D: Yes, we will. [00:37:37] Speaker B: We will have our faith and eat it, too. [00:37:39] Speaker A: And one of the things that I saw when we went to Antioch this year was we were. [00:37:44] Speaker B: So for those who are listeners who don't know what Antioch is, Antioch is a big youth camp that happens here in Canterbury. [00:37:50] Speaker A: Yeah. And so we went to Antioch this year, and we did praise and worship, and everybody loved prisoners because it's like, get up on your feet, Dance. [00:37:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:58] Speaker A: And it's super fun. And what I noticed about most people is that they're like. The Holy Spirit is very physical. So when you're in prison, worship, and you're, like, jumping around, dancing and stuff. Oh, my gosh. The Holy Spirit must be in that person, because they're jumping around. But what I saw after we did adoration and some, like, singing hymns and stuff, I saw people actually, like, weeping. I saw people hugging each other, people coming closer together. People like me having friends and strangers. Like, I met a girl in Antioch, and now we're really good friends, and she lives all the way in Greymouth. [00:38:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:36] Speaker A: So I didn't know her before then, and now I know her really well. [00:38:39] Speaker B: So. So there's. There was something deeper happening. You got beyond just perhaps emotion. [00:38:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And there was a deeper spiritual connection than just us. [00:38:50] Speaker B: What. Can I ask? What do you think about praise and worship? You guys, like, you know, take it or leave it. Like it. Don't like it. What do you. What's your opinion? [00:38:58] Speaker C: I think. Oh, sorry. I think there's a time and a place for it. It can be beautiful if it's done well. I think the focus when doing praise and worship should not be on the people leading it. [00:39:09] Speaker B: Or on. [00:39:09] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:39:10] Speaker C: Yeah. Like on the singers doing their little riffs and, you know. Or the guitarist having his little solo moment. I think the focus needs to be on Jesus, on the Lord, primarily because that's who you are worshiping. And I think when it's done, it needs to be done respectfully. It's not just a big dance party. [00:39:28] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:39:29] Speaker C: You know, I think when you're participating in praise and worship, you just need to remember who you're doing it for and why you're doing it. Yeah, yeah. [00:39:37] Speaker A: One of the things I find is that it's a lot of the time because me and Marie, we went to Thrive Worship here in Christchurch, which is. [00:39:46] Speaker D: A Protestant church, and we went there. [00:39:50] Speaker A: For the youth group and they. The first thing they did was praise and worship. I don't mind praise and worship because it is always beautiful to praise God. Like, to me, it doesn't matter what way. Yeah, it's great to thank God. But what I found was that I knew a lot of people that went there because a lot of people went there, came to my school. [00:40:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:11] Speaker A: But I knew them from their background. Their actual background in life was that they were not authentic Christians. But when they got there and everybody else was dancing around and praising, they just did it. [00:40:20] Speaker B: So there was like. It was kind of performative. They were doing a little thing, but then it wasn't lived. [00:40:25] Speaker D: It wasn't like, oh, everyone else is doing it. [00:40:27] Speaker A: It was like, yes, praise God in one moment. But then they never actually praise God in any other moment. And that's the thing. What I love about praise and worship is that it's the ability to praise God. But if it's not done authentically by everyone there, then it's not. Yeah, it's not really useful. [00:40:42] Speaker B: Interesting. [00:40:43] Speaker D: I think my take on praise and worship is, well, just myself, because I get very overwhelmed when there's lots of noise, lots of color in my face. [00:40:56] Speaker B: You're not a big fan of that? [00:40:58] Speaker D: I'm not fan of loudness. And I feel like that's the thing. I notice, especially with a lot of. [00:41:05] Speaker A: Worship at school that we do, I. [00:41:08] Speaker D: Feel like it's very loud and they're all like, I won't be quiet. I will not. And I'm like, yeah, okay, no one. [00:41:15] Speaker B: Told you you had to be. [00:41:17] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:41:18] Speaker B: But I will not. [00:41:19] Speaker D: But, hey, could we just, like, quietly pray for a little bit? And that's why I really, really, really like adoration. Because it's just that silent. It's kind of like a. Everyone's like, when we're doing praise and worship, it's like, oh, my gosh, Everyone get up. Everyone jump up and down and dance and like stuff. [00:41:35] Speaker A: It's like what Lucy said. [00:41:36] Speaker D: Everyone's Kind of forgetting that they're praising Jesus. [00:41:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Because it's you in the quiet. Right. You really do. You can't hide. You meet God, really and. [00:41:46] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:41:46] Speaker C: I bet there's fog machines and disco. [00:41:50] Speaker A: Lights and the mega churches and I. [00:41:52] Speaker D: Bet there's like no major scientific explanation as to why people, like a lot of people cry during adoration. [00:42:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:01] Speaker D: It's a surprising amount of people because. [00:42:04] Speaker B: It'S usually quite silent. [00:42:05] Speaker D: Yeah. And it's like it is a. Like it is a prayer or like a. [00:42:13] Speaker B: There's an openness there to God. Right. [00:42:15] Speaker D: Because you're literally just across from the living Jesus and beautiful. Who knows why this, like, you're kind of like. You cry because you're like. Jesus would make himself lowest of the low for me. And that's where you kind of meet Jesus. And that's why I like adoration over praise and worship because it's, it's less like, whoa, loudness. [00:42:43] Speaker A: It's like. [00:42:43] Speaker D: And also I just get overwhelmed by. Because everyone's tight knit and everyone's like hands in the air and I'm kind of like, no, yeah, it's very different. [00:42:52] Speaker A: I love adoration because of my particular testimony is that I met someone in adoration that was a complete stranger to me. And I. We both helped each other, actually. And it's both part of each other's stories that we met each other and we were complete strangers. And then all of a sudden, God connected us through this quiet moment and neither of us expected it to happen. We didn't talk before that at all. And like, just through this quiet moment, God just put us together. And what God puts together doesn't pull apart. [00:43:24] Speaker C: Really. [00:43:41] Speaker B: That music, ladies, means that it's time for a regular tradition on this podcast that we have normally, when your mum's here, we have our moment each month of goodness, truth and beauty that we share. And also perhaps a scripture reflection or a passage that's really spoken to us. And so I thought, well, why not carry on the tradition with you ladies? The council of women. That's what we might have to call this podcast, the council of supreme beings that you are. But I thought we'd start. We'd go around in a. In a circle. As much as we love circles. What is one moment of goodness, truth or beauty that you might have experienced this year? Or it could be any year really. But what's. What's something that sticks out for you? Maybe we'll start with you, Lucy. [00:44:26] Speaker C: Ah, sure. I've. I thought about this beforehand when I Saw the questions and I've. In my work, for those that don't know, I work at a rest home, several rest homes actually at the moment. But it was my first ever part time job and I started when I was 15. And I've seen a lot of big moments of beauty and little moments, big things like people being on the edge of death, recovering from a stroke, and then the next day I come in and they're walking around and they're like happy as can be. Or people coming in on palliative care and then being told, oh, their end of life, they won't last a month. And then they're still there three years later, you know, running the place. [00:45:11] Speaker B: Oh, so you young whippersnappers. [00:45:13] Speaker C: Yeah. But I think one moment that really stood out was just a. It's a tiny thing, but there was this woman and she was, she was dying and her family was coming in and all that. The process was happening. She couldn't swallow, she was immobile, she couldn't talk. And she had the death rattle, which I don't know if many people know what that is, but once you've heard it, you sort of know. Yes. [00:45:41] Speaker B: The lungs shutting down. [00:45:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:43] Speaker C: And it's a very confronting sound. But yeah. She wasn't eating much. And one day I got sent in there to give her some lunch and I brought in a little tub of ice cream, vanilla ice cream for her. And I was feeding it to her and just talking to her. Of course I didn't really know if she could see me, what she could hear, but I remember I was on the last spoonful and I gave it to her and then I wiped the corners of her mouth and then she just looked up at me and she just gave me the biggest smile and her face was just lit up with joy and it was just beautiful. And she must have been in so much pain, like it was crazy. But just the little treat that I gave her in that ice cream just brought her so much joy in those moments, those extremely painful moments of her life. And it just reminded me that there is goodness in every part of life and that I was able to be a part of that goodness. And to give her that joy in those moments was just amazing. And it just changed how I view life entirely and my purpose in life. And yeah, I just. That image of her smiling up at me from the beard, you know, dying. Yeah, it just, it won't, probably won't ever leave me. [00:47:15] Speaker B: Wow. [00:47:16] Speaker C: And I just found it beautiful. But it was just such a tiny, tiny little thing that she did, and it stuck with me. [00:47:23] Speaker B: Wow, that's beautiful. One of my favorite stories, Lulu, from your rest home work, was when you came home, it was early this year, or might have been last year, and you told me about the elderly gentleman who was in his final days, and they were just giving him little sips of whiskey on his way out. That's going to be me, baby. [00:47:42] Speaker D: Will be looking up after you one day. [00:47:44] Speaker C: Did. [00:47:44] Speaker B: It'll be the top shelf. 500 bottles only, please. [00:47:48] Speaker D: Minimum. [00:47:49] Speaker B: What about you, meds? You got a moment? [00:47:51] Speaker D: Mine is actually also from my line of work, so I do babysitting for one particular family, and this is a family of seven. And the interesting thing is one of the kids is in a wheelchair, and two of the kids get horrible anxiety from him. Have to. He has to go to hospital a lot. He has to do a lot of procedures. And this year, he didn't have to do heaps. But that anxiety was still with the littlest girl. And she is the most adorable girl. And she came out to me one night, it was quite a late night, and she said to me, maddie, I was like, what's wrong? Are you okay? And she goes, do you think I'll go to heaven one day? And I was like, oh, my goodness. And I was like, well, that is not up to me. [00:48:49] Speaker B: That's a good answer. [00:48:52] Speaker D: And then she was like, but I'm so adorable. I was like, you are, but I don't think that's what gets people into heaven. [00:48:59] Speaker B: That's hilarious. Hey. God, I'm adorable. Open them gates. [00:49:04] Speaker D: And I remember when she left, the older brother who's in the wheelchair came out, and he was like, what did she ask? And I was like, oh, she just asked about heaven. And he went and sat with her, and he said to her, her name is Zoe. Said, zoe, don't worry. It's all gonna be okay. And then he kind of, like, wheeled himself out of the room. [00:49:26] Speaker B: Wow. [00:49:26] Speaker D: And just went back to his bed like nothing had happened. And I walked in there, and Zoe's face, like, the old woman. Zoe's face was, like, just smiling so much. And I was like, aw, man, that is awesome. I was like, just those two, Evie. [00:49:39] Speaker A: I don't have as big a one, but if anyone knows me, they already know that I love to draw and I love to paint. That's one of my many talents. As dad already mentioned that I have many talents. One of my best ones is that. [00:49:53] Speaker B: I love to paint, and she loves gangster rap. And. [00:49:55] Speaker A: Yeah, obviously. No, I'm Just kidding. My other talent is that I love to sing. And I always like to combine the two because when I was especially researching about art earlier this year, I found out that there are people that listen to music and they see colors and then they paint it. And I was in mass early on this year, maybe like July, and it was at the point we were kneeling and the priest lifts up the host and he says, behold the Lamb of God. And then literally the day after, I did a painting that is now sitting in my parents bedroom that is called Behold the Lamb of God. [00:50:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Beautiful. [00:50:35] Speaker A: And the reason I did that was because I listened to the song I am the bread of life and closed my eyes for like 10 minutes. [00:50:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:44] Speaker A: And listen to that song on repeat. And I ended up drawing this picture and it just came out beautiful. Out of a song, out of the mass. And then one of the tiny moment was when I was in mass this year and I felt a weight on my heart kind of like lifted. And this particular weight was my worry that my grandfather, Dad's dad was not in heaven. That was a massive worry for me. And I felt a weight lift off my heart. That particular weight. I knew it was that. And I just felt poppers in heaven. [00:51:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Awesome. Beautiful. [00:51:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:23] Speaker B: Smiling on you, praying for you. He's a good man, Pop. Wasn't he? What about then, a favorite scripture passage that you like and why do you like it? Let's go the other way. We'll start with you, Evie. And I see you've actually got a piece of paper there. So I had to write down. [00:51:39] Speaker A: I can't remember. [00:51:39] Speaker B: There's nothing wrong with that. There's totally nothing wrong with that. [00:51:41] Speaker A: Well, I found this one, and it's been my favorite one for a while because I found it in my youth Bible. And it's very appropriate for Shay. Talking about teenagers. Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers in example, in speech, in conduct, in love and faith and purity. 1 Timothy 4:12. [00:51:59] Speaker B: Wow. That's awesome. That's a. That's a goodie. That is a great one. Maddie. [00:52:04] Speaker D: I don't have the passage with me, and I don't know where it is. It's probably somewhere in Luke or one of the gospels. [00:52:11] Speaker B: And it's somewhere in the Bible. [00:52:14] Speaker D: It's in the New Testament. [00:52:19] Speaker B: Could be the Quran. I'm not sure. [00:52:22] Speaker D: And I just know this one because dad told it to me a lot. And it's from when I used to get serious anxiety. And it's when Jesus is in the boat with the 12 disciples. And there's a storm. And the disciples are like, oh, my gosh, what is happening? And then Jesus like, guys, calm down. Look, it's gone. Yeah, the storm's gone. And dad always used to tell me that Jesus was in the boat with me. [00:52:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:51] Speaker D: And it did take me a few years to realize dad was always in the boat with me, too. He wasn't panicking, though. He was like, look behind you. Jesus is there. Jesus is standing right there. [00:53:01] Speaker B: I used to just say that to you, Right? [00:53:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:53:02] Speaker D: And I just remember that. And even though I was going through so much, I just remember that little. And I don't even know where it is in the Bible. It's in the New Testament. That much I know. But it. It's a good one. [00:53:14] Speaker B: Yeah. That's beautiful. That is. That's a great account. This. Yeah. Jesus in the boat. Awesome. What about you, Lee? [00:53:20] Speaker C: I like Isaiah 43, verse 4. [00:53:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:24] Speaker C: And it says, since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you nations in exchange for your life. And I just love that one because it just reminds me, you know, how tremendous God's love is for each one of us, that he would just give everything just to see us, you know, come back to him and be with him. And it. Yeah, it just reminds me that I am precious to him. Even if I'm feeling like I'm all alone or I have no one I can talk to. Just that, you know, God loves me so much. He would give all of this just to. Just to have me back, you know? [00:54:02] Speaker B: Yeah. That's beautiful. [00:54:03] Speaker C: I love that one. [00:54:04] Speaker B: That's a great passage, Lou. That is a really, really great scripture passage. Alrighty, folks. That was our monthly moment of goodness, truth and beauty. A little bit different this month from our awesome daughters sharing their scripture passages and their moments of goodness, truth and beauty. And I've got one last question that I want them to answer before we finish up this episode, our final episode for the year. We'll be back in the new year, but this is the final episode of the little flock for the year. So the final question that I want to put to you ladies, and I'll start with you, Evie, is this. What would you say to any parents who are listening to this and they don't feel like they are the perfect parents to their teenage children for whatever reason, they just don't feel they're the perfect parents. [00:54:58] Speaker A: You don't have to be perfect. You just gotta be parents oh, that's a good thing, because you choose to be parents. And the main thing as being parents is these are my children. These are my offspring. [00:55:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:12] Speaker A: So I choose to love you as my children, and so therefore, I will love you. And that means showing love. Like, showing love means showing respect, showing them dignity, and not always arguing with them or telling them off. [00:55:31] Speaker D: Like. [00:55:32] Speaker A: Yes, you need to show that discipline as well, because you are parents and you do have that honor over them. But also you need to teach them that, how to love people. Because I've seen a lot in my friends that they don't know what love is because they don't see it in their parents. [00:55:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:50] Speaker A: And they don't get treated with it by appearance. So when they go into dating, they don't know what love is, and they haven't identified that fact. So they don't know what to do. [00:55:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:59] Speaker A: So if you love them, they will love you back. [00:56:01] Speaker B: Awesome. Okay. What about you, Maddie? What would you say to someone who is listening? They're apparent that don't feel like they are the perfect parent to their teenage children. [00:56:10] Speaker D: Teenagers are confusing and they. And they're just trying to figure out where they belong. And it's kind of the same, actually. You're a parent trying to figure out how this parenting thing works with teenagers especially. And teenagers are trying to figure out where they belong, who their friends are going to be, and what crowd they're going to be in for the rest of their life. And the best thing you can do is talk to them about it. Don't try and be them. Be like their besties. Don't try and be their best friend, because then they're not going to see you as the person they're supposed to honor and respect. They're going to see you as I can do anything, because my parents aren't going to tell me off for it because they don't even, like, care. They just want to be my best friend. [00:56:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:56] Speaker D: Give them that discipline, but also talk to them about their lives and help them if they need help. And like Evie said, don't get really angry at them if you don't know the whole story, but do get angry at them if they've done something wrong. [00:57:12] Speaker C: Lucy, I would just ask where this definition of perfect is coming from. Because if it's coming from the world, as we've said a few times, the world is not always and often is not right. So if you're looking to this perfect comparison to your life, I think you just need to redefine the terms a little bit and ask maybe what does your perfect look like? Because it's not gonna look like what everyone says it should, and that's okay. And I think the comparison itself can be very damaging. And the best thing you can focus on is your children and their wellbeing. And, yeah, like Mary and Evie said, we're frustrating, we're disrespectful, and we're disobedient a lot of the time. [00:58:00] Speaker B: I'm glad you have acknowledged that. Ladies, let me write this down. [00:58:05] Speaker D: We're trying to figure out where we belong. [00:58:07] Speaker A: Don't worry, dad. You're not always wrong. [00:58:08] Speaker C: So, yeah, just learning how to manage that. And each family is different, and that's. Yeah, that's okay. So. [00:58:15] Speaker B: So where are you getting your definition of perfect from? [00:58:17] Speaker C: Yeah, just. Yeah, look a bit deeper. Don't compare yourself to other parents. Yeah, yeah. [00:58:24] Speaker A: And everybody has troubles. Everybody has troubles. Teenagers. I know that because I've had several fights with my parents. [00:58:30] Speaker B: Yeah, that's good. So just relax. Go with it. Love your kids. Is that what I'm hearing? [00:58:35] Speaker C: Yeah. Focus on your kids. [00:58:36] Speaker D: Always remember, the oldest child is the guinea pig. [00:58:43] Speaker B: And I always said there was a trade off, though. Remember that, Lucy? I said the trade off was that you were the one who actually has the privilege of making me a dad. And mum. And mum. Like, I mean, these other kids are awesome. We love you all the bits. We don't have favorites. [00:58:58] Speaker D: Have a favorite parent. [00:59:00] Speaker B: What? [00:59:01] Speaker D: I should have a favorite parent? [00:59:02] Speaker B: I think you said a pirate parent. And what's a pirate parent? A pirate parent. Yes. ARR. But yeah, the. The trade off is, of course, Lucy, you actually got to make me a dad. Mama. Mum. But you also had to be the guinea pig. [00:59:16] Speaker C: It was not my choice. [00:59:17] Speaker B: How do these things work? Let's figure it out. [00:59:20] Speaker A: Let's just feed it and see how it goes. [00:59:22] Speaker B: Lucy. [00:59:23] Speaker D: At least. [00:59:25] Speaker C: Don'T feed her after me midnight. [00:59:27] Speaker D: It's more like. [00:59:29] Speaker B: It was like one of those. Was it Tamagotchis? Those. [00:59:33] Speaker C: Keep it alive. [00:59:34] Speaker B: Keep it alive as long as it. Man, the. The freakiest moment I ever had was when you slept through the night for the first time, Lucy. And, well, I did. I woke up. I said, this guy freaked out, woke your mum up. She said, what? I was having a nice sleep, and I was like, lucy, Lucy. And you were totally asleep, and you used to have this, like, cane bassinet that you slept in. And every night, if you got your hands out of the swaddling. Oh, no, you would just run your hands down the side of the. The bassinet. And he always hears this click, click, click, click, click, click, click. The creepy bassinet, baby. And then there was one night, there's nothing. And I was, like, freaked out. [01:00:08] Speaker D: She would have just been like, what? Dad, I'm trying to sleep. [01:00:11] Speaker B: Shut up. [01:00:11] Speaker A: Dad, I'm trying to sleep from. [01:00:13] Speaker D: Lucy sleeps in so much now. [01:00:16] Speaker B: She's like, shut up. [01:00:17] Speaker A: You should reenact that moment. [01:00:18] Speaker D: Moment. [01:00:19] Speaker B: So, yeah. Ladies, thank you so much for appearing on the podcast and for making this a very special final episode of the Little Flock podcast for the year, folks. Thank you for tuning in and for listening throughout the year. Don't forget, please subscribe. If you haven't already done that. Share it with your friends and family. If you want to support our ministry, you can do [email protected] NZ there's details about how to become a donor there. Or also you can go to patreon.com left foot media and you can contribute any amount you want to on a month basis. Ladies, do you have any final words for everyone? It's the end of what's almost the end of the Advent season. One last Sunday, this Sunday, the fourth and final Sunday of Advent, and then we are getting into that very special time of year, Christmas. You looking forward to that? [01:01:08] Speaker A: Yes. [01:01:08] Speaker C: Yep. [01:01:09] Speaker B: Holidays, whatever. Dad, we've run out of scripted questions and it's time to leave now, please. So do you want to say a farewell before we wrap this episode up? [01:01:21] Speaker C: To everyone who's listening, Merry Christmas, Farewell, Happy New Year. [01:01:26] Speaker B: Thanks, everyone. Don't forget, live by goodness, truth and beauty, not by lies. And we'll see you next time on the Little Flock. [01:01:42] Speaker A: The Little Flock is a joint production of the Lifenet Charitable Trust and Leftfoot Media. [01:01:47] Speaker B: If you enjoyed this show, then please help us to ensure that more of this great content keeps getting made by becoming a patron of the [email protected] leftfootmedia thanks for listening. [01:01:59] Speaker A: See you next time on the Little Flock.